The U.S. of Cake Project: Inspiration and Obstacles

I, Monica, hereby swear that I will bake 50 unique cupcakes that capture the essence, the flavor if you will, of each state in the union.

If I stick to my self-imposed schedule of one cupcake combo per week, it should take about a year.

The concept for this project struck me as most insane great ideas do, as I lay in bed. Not my bed, but the bunk bed my daughters share. I always snuggle my youngest to sleep, and if I don't actively fight it, I'll easily fall asleep too. I was mid-thought, replaying a mental catalogue that traced the geography of my life: seven states in ten years, with another one bookending my life, before I even had memories. Then, my mind naturally went to my favorite subject: food. Desserts, specifically. Lately, it had been all cupcake-related, as my home bakery business had a spike in orders for graduation parties. My brain attempted to keep a common thread by putting the geographic history and desserts together, and the kernel of inspiration was born.

What happens when I doodle a cupcake without looking.

There, in the bottom bunk, I was mentally crafting cupcakes to represent the iconic flavors of each state on my life list. And then, epiphany. A calling. Why stop at seven (or eight) states? There are so many flavors; so many states that would be left out. And I'm not one to neglect a flavor. Once the idea struck me, I couldn't shake it. I was engulfed by it, impassioned, suddenly panicked to create. Think of the potential! I had to make notes.

Both daughters were now sleeping, so I slipped out and immediately shared my hysteria stroke of genius with my unsuspecting husband, who had been reading or watching something -- I honestly didn't notice because my new idea was obviously the most important thing in that moment.  Upon his (characteristically) supportive response, I found the nearest notebook, nabbed a pen, and flipped to a blank page.

Such a handy song to know.

My first step was to silently sing, "the fifty, nifty United States," while writing out an alphabetic list of said states. I had to sing it very slowly and write fast, which was faster than usual thanks to adrenaline. I was that excited. After I got to "Wy-OHHH-ming," I started filling in the more obvious flavor-associations: key lime for Florida, dairy-something for Wisconsin, Vermont maple syrup, and then...

Obstacle #1: Some states stumped me.

First, there were those states that didn't have an apparent cuisine-identity. (What flavor is Connecticut?) Others had "famous flavors" that just didn't translate well to cupcakes. (Maryland's crab cakes = Ew.) Once I had depleted my own mental resources (that was fast), I knew I would have to do some digging. Dear Google, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

Obstacle #2: Project identity crisis.

As you can see from my notes over there (or perhaps you can't at all because my handwriting is terrible), my impulsive working title for this project was "The United Cakes of America" -- so clever, right? Alas, the gifted Warren Brown agreed, and published his book by the same name... three years ago. Back to the drawing board. But I was not about to sacrifice cleverness or thematic succinctness. Google to the rescue yet again.

Obstacle #3: No photogenic kitchen tools.

A blog about cupcake making needs gorgeous pictures, and my kitchen is not gorgeous. It is a tiny, Bay-Area rental with zero natural light and fewer drawers. My Kitchen-Aid mixer does not coordinate with a thoughtfully chosen centerpiece. In fact, I do not even own a Kitchen-Aid mixer. My hand mixer is a Huntington Beach bargain-bin special, and though it has served me well for going on nine years, it is decidedly not photogenic. Neither are the oddball cake decorating tips I nabbed for a dollar at a rummage sale. I only ever use three of them, because when am I ever going to need three flower nails and whatever shape this #190 Wilton tip makes? Never, that's when. (I just looked it up, and apparently it makes flowers, too. There are also three other similar tips in my collection. They all make flowers. I do not need that many unitasking ways to make flowers out of frosting.)

I do happen to have several friends who own photogenic kitchens with pretty mixers and natural light, however. Perhaps I can borrow them.

Obstacle #4: Where to start?

There are so many deserving states with enticing flavors. I can't decide. Should I go alphabetical, like my list? Or would it make more sense for me to start with my home state of Ohio? Perhaps the "13 original colonies" should get first crack. I need a plan. Until then, I'm paralyzed by indecision.

I'm yearning for simpler times, when I only had three obstacles to overcome.

But this former news anchor knows just what will get me started, plan or no plan. I need a deadline. First cupcake, whatever it may be: June 7, 2015. I'll be there.

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Monica is standing between two cupcakes, each of them calling her to see which one she loves the most. Choose a side on Twitter @USofCake.